By Madeleine Sara
‘I decide to check my emails, but have to go in search of my spectacles. Maybe I left them in the hall? I notice FM magazine has arrived with the post, which I take into the study. Throwing junk mail in the waste basket, I see it’s full. Putting the rest of the post on the desk, I take the waste basket into the kitchen, but pause, because I can’t remember what I was going to do. A plant on the counter has caught my eye that really needs watering. I see my spectacles beside the plant and as I carry them into the study with the emptied bin, I notice my coffee cup on the desk. I decide to make some green tea. Back in the kitchen I see that the plant still needs watering. When I put the cup in the sink, I notice the TV remote by the kettle. I realise that when I later want to watch the TV, I’ll be hunting around for it. First though, I must water the plant. So while I fill the watering can, I gaze out of the window and water splashes on the floor. Groaning with exasperation, I head for a floor cloth, but realise I’m inexplicably looking in the wrong cupboard. I notice the washing machine needs emptying; so I spend a few minutes sorting garments. Aware that I’ve become overtired, I go into the living room. I’ve been busy all morning, yet I can’t remember what I did all that time. I think I’ll just veg-out and watch some TV. But where did I leave that remote control?’
Poor sleep, anxiety, stress, poor diet, depression and distractions, including pain and illness disrupts memory for those of us with Fibromyalgia. It is believed that most of us get the Lost Property Blues or become exhausted trying to finish tasks, because we become entangled in other distractions, including conversation, that prevent us from completing the original activity. It is estimated that most people spend 150 days of their lives searching for lost possessions. Imagine then, how much longer those of us with Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia must spend on this!
CONSCIOUS MEMORY is all about cognitive processing, where thoughts can be retrieved and brought into the mind’s foreground. Short-term working memory that is necessary for problem solving, following through tasks and ‘executive functioning’, becomes more challenging for older people and those of us with brain fog. Prior memories can also interfere with retrieval of our more recent memories.
DISTRACTIONS may disrupt the process of turning short term memories into much stronger, longer term ones. Mindfulness encourages the conscious savouring of mundane activity-related thoughts, in order not to lose them in the onslaught of modern stresses and daily hustle and bustle of life. When we become badgered and bullied by negative thoughts and concerns; these can be alleviated by paying attention to mundane, repetitive tasks. Allowing ourselves some respite by intentionally focusing in the moment, is great for helping memory and relaxation. This has a further knock-on benefit of improving speech, sleep and pain levels.
When we become distracted by thoughts and other demands on our brain capacity, autopilot is lost in the BRAIN FOG of our exhausted Fibro mind. Forgetting becomes inevitable. Simply being present with whatever we are doing at the time, helps our memory. So sticking to one task and thinking mindfully about it as we do it, will enable us to achieve what we had planned to do. Focusing on a repetitive task such as Knitting, serves a mindful purpose in improving concentration and sequential thought.
So, when you go the bathroom to brush your teeth in the morning, instead of allowing your thoughts free-reign, try paying attention solely on the task you are doing, (i.e. the feel of the brush in your hand and the bristles on your teeth, gums and tongue. The squidge of toothpaste and feel of the tube. Its colour and smell, as it covers the brush. The up and down or circular motions, as you move the brush inside your mouth. The taste of the toothpaste on your tongue. If your mind wanders off to anything else, including what you need to be doing after this chore, gently refocus on the task in hand. For this short amount of time you are allowing your brain some healing, calming space not to fret about organising your day. During this time you may also banish the fear, obligation and guilt that may reside in your subconscious over some aspect of your life. You don’t need to think too much, it’s more a case of being present in the moment while noticing all the things about the task you are doing.
MINDFUL MEMORY has been shown to reduce interference and improve short term recall. It is about bringing the now into our conscious thought for just a few moments. We may acknowledge and then let-go of intrusive or troubling thoughts, during such mindful exercises.
In order to benefit from MEMORY AIDS, we must first decide to discipline ourselves to mindfully and purposely use them. We may complain that it’s too hard or dismiss the idea as impossible with brain fog, but actually by doing it, we are clawing back some of that vital memory which we have started to lose. This is a conscious step towards lifting that brain fog.
LOST PROPERTY: Can be resolved by having designated ‘safe’ places to put regularly misplaced items, as soon as you arrive home, or after certain tasks.
Decide:
1. How often is this item used?
2. Where is it most used?
Always SAY TO YOURSELF: “I am putting my spectacles/ keys / phone / jewellery/ sunglasses etc. on/ in the…”
If you know that you only put your SPECTACLES down in 3 specifically designated places, then the areas where you need to look when they go missing will be considerably reduced. By making yourself stick to these places you’re also stimulating your mindful memory processes for improved brain function. Wooden spectacle face holders can be purchased, so your spectacles can be clearly seen. Choose three places where you are most likely to put them and mindfully do so.
When you lock and unlock the door, you can start to mindfully put your KEYS in your safe place. A good addition to keys are alloy, belt-clip, hook keyrings and key fob alarms.
GLOVES, HATS AND SCARVES are other items that those of us who feel the temperatures so much more acutely are constantly looking for.’ Flexi storage clever cubes’ are a good way to store such items. Mindfully putting the hat back in the hat box; your gloves in the glove box and your scarf back in its box empowers us to banish that brain fog, once again. We also have a ‘Yip-Yip Crochet Monster’ on the hall table for sunglasses, keys, phones and dash cams etc. that we’ve brought in from the car. Becoming more organised helps declutter our minds further helping to lift the brain fog.
LAUNDRY is one of those regular jobs that never goes away. However, I wonder how many of us sort the laundry from the start? Not just before we are about to load the washing machine, but as soon as the item is put in the linen basket for the wash? By designating specific laundry baskets to particular wash cycles in each room, you have already cut down some of the chore. Bathroom laundry bin for soiled 60 o c boil wash items, (such as hankies, underpants, face cloths); Towels in 40o c separate wash; delicates and woollens in a separate handwash basket elsewhere; 30 o c clothing in another basket (lights and darks can be separated prior to washing); whilst 30 o c bedlinen can be washed as soon as it is removed from the bed. I also have separate baskets for soiled garden, paint, polish and pet related items;, plus a kitchen laundry basket.
The eternal problem of lost SOCKS can be avoided, because when we’ve put them all together in the same washing load, they remain all together, rather than creeping into duvet covers and clinging to the static of other clothing. Hanging sock airers also mean that as you hang them up to dry in their pairs, you are already sorting them mindfully for when they can be put away again.
If we have written down our TO DO List. (e.g. water plant, sort post etc.) then we may prioritize the items, before completing each chosen task, prior to moving onto the next. We can start to feel less muddled, more empowered and confident. Later when we are feeling even more positive and less brain fogged we may hold 3 things in our memory’s To Do list, instead of writing it down. As we improve more things may be added. Result!
Madeleine Sara is a freelance writer with a degree in Psychology and a postgraduate RCSLT qualification. As a retired, Paediatric Therapist and fellow Fibromyalgia sufferer; she likes to apply her experience and knowledge to every challenge she encounters.
RECOMMENDED READING/ REFERENCES:
A Life Less Throwaway by Tara Button